


The Children of Dust and Ashes

by ApplePieThatsFrickingWorthIt



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Drinking, First Kiss, I'm new and have no idea how to use tags sorry, John gets drunk and philosophical about life death and love, Lams - Freeform, Love, M/M, Musicals, inspired by 'Dust and Ashes' from Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 18:26:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9084259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApplePieThatsFrickingWorthIt/pseuds/ApplePieThatsFrickingWorthIt
Summary: "We are asleep until we fall in Love” ― Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace Little Lams drabble inspired by the song 'Dust and Ashes' by Josh Groban for the musical Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812.





	

**Author's Note:**

> First thing i've posted here so still figuring out the site so sorry if I have messed something up. I would recommend listening to the song 'Dust and Ashes' by Josh Groban for the musical Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 as it is what inspired this and I feel it gives a little more idea of what I was trying to get at here ha also it is simply a beautiful song. (it's on youtube if you are interested) The song partly revolves around the quote from War and Peace 'We are asleep until we fall in love.' (I know that this was written about 50 years after the sorta time of this fic but ah well)  
> Also mentioned somewhere in this is reference to something Alexander Hamilton himself wrote in 1780 "I am a stranger in this country. I have no property here, no connexions"  
> But yeh, anyway I hope you enjoy. Thank You.

The night was thick, the air sticking in Alexander’s throat as his shirt stuck to his skin; it was suffocating. Turning his head he looked out across the tent to the two cots that belonged to his friends. The Frenchman lay dosing, bare chest, arms sprawled across his face, his mount of dark curls the only feature Alexander could make out in the candle light. Laurens, however, was not in his bed. Hamilton’s brow furrowed, his friend had been gone an abnormally long time. He was not working, for if he were Alexander would be working alongside him, and he was not with any woman – Alexander had observed John to take little to no interest in the opposite sex, instead being wholly devoted to whiskey and work. That must be it – Alexander concluded – whiskey. He couldn’t blame the man, the night would clearly be a sleepless one and one must take the few pleasures whilst he can. Hamilton swung his legs over the cot, pulling on his boots, grabbing a lantern and staggering wearily past Lafayette out into the syrup thick night air. There were sounds of lazy commotion that night, small groups of men whiling the night away on cards, women and drink. Alexander however did not gravitate towards these men, despite his experiences telling him Laurens enjoyed little more than a drink and a gamble. His instincts instead led him out towards the edge of the camp. There he eventually stumbled across a figure, sitting alone in the darkness.

“My dear Laurens, you appear to have gone great lengths to evade my company. I trust it is not a impropriety for me to have discovered you.” John Laurens smiled at the familiar voice, raising the bottle of whiskey he held for Alexander as a way of greeting. Alexander took the whiskey, noting the significant loss of weight to the bottle as he took a swig. “The heat unabled you to sleep as well?”

“Tonight is not a night for sleep mon petit lion” John said, his voice sounding distant as he gazed at the sky. Hamilton followed his gaze, up towards the sea of stars, glistening in the sky like diamonds.

“Raise a glass.” John said, lifting the bottle as Alexander passed it back to him.

“To freedom.” Alexander said, not missing the painful twinge of John’s face before he repeated;

“To freedom.” He took a long gulp, causing him to gasp as he passed the bottle back to Hamilton.

They drank in silence a while, the whiskey mixing with the heat, intoxicating Alexander’s brain deeper by the second. He studied the distant, haunted look on the other man’s face, his mind trying to form a question.

“There is a saying.” John said, suddenly, “That we are asleep until we fall in love.” Alexander turned to face him, confused and intrigued. “I’m not sure who...the Russians I believe.” John added, still gazing at the sky.

“It is a very romantic sentiment.” Alexander commented and John nodded.

“Yes, yes it is.” He said, looking down into the depths of the bottle. “It has played on my mind these past months. As you know, I am fully prepared to die to set us free but...” He rinsed his words in whiskey. “...I do not want to die in my sleep.”

A tender smile slipped onto Alexander’s face. “Oh my dear Laurens.” John turned to look at him for the first time now and Alexander felt giddy with the gaze and the heat and the whiskey. “You see the sky, do you not?”

“Yes.” John said, looking back up at the thousand glimmering flames lighting the darkness.

“Is it not exquisitely beautiful?” Alexander asked.

“It is.” John confirmed.

“Do you not feel the heat of the air? The grit of the earth beneath us? The burn of whiskey.”

“I do.” Alexander reached down, placing a hand upon John’s. He felt John react, the spark, as he held his hand in his.

“I am fairly certain I am already awake.” Alexander whispered, rubbing his thumb across John’s knuckles. “...aren’t you?” He asked, his eyes flickering up to meet John’s. The air between them seemingly became solid, Alexander’s heart seemed to stop, the tension unbearable. But as he looked into John’s eyes, as he watched his eyes flicker briefly over his lips, he knew he had judged correctly. He felt John squeeze his hand – a silent invitation. Alexander broke his gaze, turning back to face camp, seeing that they were alone. When he turned back John was still watching him, a mix of terror, anticipation and longing in his eyes.

“Well...?” Alexander promoted. The word was still on his lips as John’s made tentative contact. The kiss was faint, a ghost of a thing laced with hesitation. Alexander felt his lips curl into a smile beneath John’s, a new heat washing over his body, not suffocating at all.

“Yes.” John whispered breathlessly. The word was like a trigger in Alexander’s brain, he moved forwards, closing the space between them, between their lips. John’s were soft, delicate, juxtaposed by the taste of whiskey and tobacco. Alexander's hands cupped John's face, his fingers entwining into his dark curls. He could feel John's hands on the nape of his neck sending a tingle down his spine. Suddenly, John lost his balance as he attempting to push further forward, sending them both sideways into the ground. Alexander gasped in shock before laughing. John beamed, shoving his shoulder slightly, leaving the hand in place. Alexander smiled softly, entwining his fingers with those of the beaming freckled man. He thought back to something he had written on a night not unlike this, alone in the sickly darkness, his brain drenched in whiskey and melancholy 'I am a stranger in this country.' As he looked at the American beside him, felt the skin of his hands, grated slightly by war, the heat from his body as he lay so close their shoulders met, the taste of him still on his lips, he thought to how foolish those words now seemed. Never before had he felt so alive in a place, never felt so loved since his mother. He may not have been blessed by the quantity of his friends, however the quality was more than he could have ever dreamed. 

"What are you thinking about?" Laurens asked, propping himself up on his elbow to look down at Alexander's face. 

"How much I enjoy being awake." Alex whispered, a ghost of a smile on his lips. John leaned over, pressing a kiss to them.

"Ah yes, it is very...pleasurable." He whispered, the words licking off his tongue, even more intoxicating than the drink. Alexander felt heat flush through him, his hands against Laurens chest, fumbling with his shirt.

"Mes amis? Est-ce que c'est vous?" The voice made Alexander freeze, his hand entangled in John's shirt. He could feel John tense, their eyes locking for a brief heartbeat of a moment before John allowed his body to go limp, flopping onto the ground besides Alexander. Hamilton noted the deliberate space between them, still narrow, but there. John had regained the whiskey, bringing it to his lips as he called.

"Par ici!" It took the Frenchman a matter of seconds to reach them, throwing himself down beside Hamilton, a fresh bottle in his hand. 

"I wonder, is this what it felt to be Icarus?" Lafayette remarked, sweat glistening on his bare chest as he opened the bottle. Alexander chuckled,

"What have you been doing out here?" Lafayette asked, taking a swig of his drink. Alexander briefly turned to look at John, who smiled. 

"Drinking." He said and Lafayette nodded.

"That I can drink to!" He said, taking another gulp before passing the bottle to Alexander.

"To good company" Alexander said, taking a drink and passing it to John.

Laurens looked at the bottle intently for a moment, his thumb absentmindedly scraping at the label,

"To being awake." He said quietly, the smile worming it's way across his face, his eyes flickering to meet Alexander's as he took a drink. In the darkness Alexander's hand slipped silently into John's. 

And so that is how the three of them lay, drinking side by side all through the sweltering night, and always wide awake.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading, I hope you have enjoyed this. I hope to post more Lams in the future as i just love these two, if anyone would be interested. Also thank you to dede_fabulous for correcting the French sections (my french is terrible sorry, my french teacher didn't tell me that when she said it would be important in my future she meant for writing gay historical fanfiction if she had I might have listened more.) But yeh anyways, thank you :)


End file.
